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The Laws of The(rm)odynamics
My favourite formulation of the Second Law of Thermodynamics is the one which Flanders and Swann1 set to
music ("heat can not of itself pass from one body to a hotter body").
But because I cannot (for copyright reasons and for lack of talent) reproduce their performance of the song in all its glory,
I have to turn to my second favourite formulation of the Laws of Thermodynamics attributed to Murphy2:
- You can't win, you can only break even;
- You can't break even except at absolute zero;
- You can't reach absolute zero.
That version of the Laws of Thermodynamics might be called the Gambler's Version
- or perhaps the Gambler's Anonymous Version since it provides a cold shower for those
who think that the Universe will ever let them win!
Even so, there have been hundreds and thousands of people who have tried to find a way round those Laws
- trying to find the loophole which will let them built a perpetual motion machine.3
All have failed.
The Laws of Thermodynamics (literally Heat at Work) have a faith counter-part - almost identical in wording -
which could be called the Basic Laws of Theodynamics (literally God at Work):
- You can't win, you can only break even;
- You can't break even except at absolute virtue;
- You can't reach absolute virtue.
But while the Laws of Thermodynamics are complete and implacable with no escape clause,
the Basic Laws of Theodynamics are not complete. They only became complete when God
re-wrote them as the Laws of Christian Theodynamics by adding an escape clause:
- You can't win, you can only break even;
- You can't break even except at absolute virtue;
- You can't reach absolute virtue
unless you are shielded by the saving grace of Jesus!
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