Richard Littledale's
Views on the News: July 2003

I've got your number

God's not dead, and is appearing in a cinema near you. He can also be found in a sandwich bar in Manchester and a glassworks in Florida. When Universal produced their latest hit comedy Bruce Almighty, they failed to do their research, it would seem. In cinemas across the world they have unwittingly flashed up on the screen the phone number of a sandwich maker in Manchester and a glassblower in Florida, claiming it to be the phone number of God himself. Since then, both the unsuspecting victims have been besieged with phone calls for God. Andy Green in Manchester has been receiving over 70 phone calls each day (see BBC website news story).

It is not clear who should be more depressed by this news: the enlightened post modernist or the Christian. The post-modernist will doubtless be depressed that cinema-goers are so easily taken in by irony and so keen to unburden themselves to a deity who can be reached by phone. Meanwhile, the Christians will be dismayed that 70 people a day are seeking God in the phone book rather than in their local church. Why does a God on the end of the phone seem so much more plausible or appealing than the God in whom they believe?

Apart from the obvious and uncomfortable conclusion that Christians themselves stand between these people and the God whom they seek, there is another issue. Views readers who have ever chosen to have a difficult conversation by phone rather than in person will know exactly what I mean. Whether it is ending a relationship or complaining about a faulty product, many of us enjoy the safety of a phone conversation which we can interrupt at any moment. We also enjoy the anonymity afforded by not having to reveal our emotions through gestures and facial expressions. Telephone calls are a sanitised and distanced form of communication, bringing people only so far together as they choose to come. A God on whom we can call at any time, but on whom we can put down the phone at any time, is very appealing to many.

It is here that the idea of conversations with God as a pious kind of chatline breaks down. The God in whom Christians believe found that only a personal appearance would do. Jesus is God's personal message to the world - a real man who walked and talked and laughed and cried. His message was delivered in person, and is now delivered by others on his behalf. A conversation with God is much more personal than a phone call, and cheaper too - since he has paid the bill!

If God were to be on the phone, He would have all the problems of choosing which network to use. Not only that, but what handset could possibly carry enough street cred in heaven?